Inspection of a Condemned Mind

Inspection Date: October 20, 2023

Prepared For: C.N. System

Prepared By: Depression & Anxiety Inspection Consultants

Dear Mx. System,
Thank you for choosing us to perform for your inspection. To reassure you, the inspection itself and the attached report comply with the requirements of the Standard Protocol of our National Association.

The report was prepared for your exclusive use. We did not intend the involvement of any third parties. As such, we are not responsible to any therapists, psychologists, or psychiatrists you may choose to involve.

This report is a snapshot of the mind, recording the conditions on the given date. We cannot predict future behavior, and, as such, we cannot be held responsible for any changes that may occur after the inspection. If you so choose, we are available for a revisit to update our report.

Again, thank you very much for choosing us to perform your mental inspection. We offer a satisfaction guarantee and will return your fee if you are not satisfied with our findings.

Sincerely,
D&A Inspection Consultants

Summary

This summary outlines significant issues we identified that need to be addressed in the short term. There may be others we did not identify.

This section is provided as a courtesy and should not be considered a substitute for reading the entire report.

Hormones

Production, Distribution

Condition: Failed generator | Broken supply line (Previous repairs noted)
Implication(s): Imminent collapseLocation: Midline
Task: Replace
Time: Immediate
Cost: Natural or synthetic substitute

Cognitive Function

Rational Thinking, Risk Assessment, Social Engagement

Condition: Overheated coils | Shorted wires
Implication(s): Electrical overload | Shock
Location: Amygdala
Task: Improve
Time: Immediate
Cost: Lifetime of therapy

Self-Worth

Confidence, Self-Perception

Condition: Patched holes | Excessive wear and tear
Implication(s): Weakened foundation
Location: Prefrontal cortex
Task: Repair
Time: Immediate
Cost: Lifetime of therapy OR Lifetime of understanding friends and family

The remainder of the report describes each of the mind’s systems and details our recommendations for improvements. Limitations that restricted our inspection are included, as well.

Observations & Recommendations

Hormones

1. Serotonin Production
   Condition: Failed generator—prone to shorting out without warning despite ample power supply
   Implication(s): Unreliable in an emergency (or even during daily use)
   Location: Midline of the brain (also suspect further problems in the stomach and entire gut-brain interface)
   Task: Replace with a more reliable source
   Time: Within next three months
   Cost: Natural or synthetic substitute

2. Serotonin Distribution
   Condition: Broken supply line resulting in loss throughout brain synapses (previous—unsuccesful—repairs noted)
   Implication(s): Imminent collapse of the entire system
   Location: Entire hormonal pipeline of the brain
   Task: Replace with functional distribution system
   Time: Within two weeks
   Cost: Natural or synthetic substitute with demonstrated reliable uptake

3. Comments
   Additional hormone leaks were noted and may continue to occur at any time. Such leaks may happen without warning (particularly during high-stress events, such as emotional storms). These breaches should be addressed promptly to avoid further damage to other systems within the brain. A leak within the hormones does not mean the mind is faulty and needs to be replaced. However, we recommend weekly tune-ups with a qualified professional to minimize the risk of future leaks.

Cognitive Function

1. Rational Thinking
   Condition: Overheated coils | Overstretched wires | Excessive connections in single panel
   Implication(s): Electrical shock | Fire hazard (metaphorically speaking)
   Location: Amygdala
   Task: Improve and streamline the definition of “rational” to one approximating a true representation
   Time: In the next week
   Cost: Lifetime of regular meetings with a licensed therapist

2. Risk Assessment
   Condition: Shorted wires | Overloaded breaker panel | Excessive wire connections for current tolerance of breaker panel | Overheated wires
   Implication(s): Electrical overload of the entire system | Fire hazard | Electrical shock | Catastrophic meltdown
   Location: Amygdala and accompanying sympathetic nervous system
   Task: Improve to a semi-reasonable level of catastrophizing (Suggest only allowing one incidence of “End of the World” thinking per worry list)
   Time: ASAP before system experiences a complete meltdown
   Cost: Lifetime (possibly longer) of therapy

3. Social Engagement
   Condition: Abandoned wire
   Implication(s): Failure of the system from persistent disuse
   Location: Prefrontal cortex (suspected but unable to find)
   Task: Improve from current state of nothing
   Time: Within the next six months
   Cost: Lifetime of encouragement from licensed therapist (most likely through Zoom sessions to avoid physical engagement)

4. Comments
   Overall, the cognitive functions show excessive wear and tear beyond their age. Suspect a lack of routine maintenance. The likelihood of a system failure during an upcoming time of need (for instance, an emotional breakdown) is high. We strongly recommend a thorough discussion with the maintenance organization of your choice. Remember: it is not possible to replace these features!

Self-Worth

1. Confidence
   Condition: Patched holes | Noticeable gaps | Sections of weakness
   Implication(s): Weakened foundation | Concerns for collapse | Complete breakdown
   Location: Prefrontal cortex
   Task: Repair utilizing stronger materials
   Time: Within the next year
   Cost: Lifetime of understanding friends and family (consider supplementation with licensed therapy)

2. Self-Perception
   Condition: Excessive wear and tear | Damaged sections | Weak spots
   Implication(s): Chance of structural collapse | Irreparable damage to interior
   Location: Prefrontal cortex
   Task: Repair (recommend bolstering with care and understanding)
   Time: Within the next three days
   Cost: Lifetime of therapy supplemented with encouragement and understanding from friends and family

3. Comments
   Damage to self-worth is often caused by conditions experienced outside the brain. The psyche isn’t built as strong as the skull that contains it. If doubt is allowed to collect, it will leak into the mind and build. Allowing such negativity to wash away from the thought centers is important. We recommend engaging in activities designed to boost dopamine and discourage questions such as, “What if I’m not good enough?”